


Lava Pit

by Elle_Sheridan



Series: Elle is lovely and beautiful and the best [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: A Parody, F/F, elle is glorious, in which laura and carmilla try to make amends, they are not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 04:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Sheridan/pseuds/Elle_Sheridan
Summary: Laura and Carmilla realize they are not Elle and despair.





	Lava Pit

**Author's Note:**

> A parody

“I’m an awful terrible person,” Laura the simpleton says.

Carmilla, who thinks she is so cool and suave, but is definitely not, nods in response. “Me too. We are both terrible.”

“I can’t believe we’ve hurt Elle this way. She’s so perfect and absolutely better than us in every way.”

“It’s okay, Laura,” Carmilla says in comforting manner. She goes to hug Laura, but because she smells like onions Laura moves away from her touch with a look of disgust.

“It’s not okay. Elle is wonderful and she has a British accent. And…and that is everything. Everything, Carm.You know how hot British accents are and what they do to me! If only Elle could forgive me for being so absolutely pathetic so I could listen to her dulcet tones once more!”

Frustrated, Carmilla sighs and clears her throat. “Bloody hell. Fancy a cuppa?”

“What are you doing?” Laura asks, horrified. “Why are you speaking in that weird accent? You sound like a dying hyena.”

Carmilla throws her hands up in the and stomps around the room. Her leather pants are definitely not flattering as they show off her absolutely not perfect backside. “I’m trying to be British. Those are the only British terms I know. Because I’m an uncultured dimwit.”

“You are. You really are. But I’m no better. I feel awful about how we treated Elle. Elle who is gorgeous and the most perfect woman alive. She is glory and I really wish she would step on my face.”

“Wouldn’t that hurt?”

“Yes, but at least I would get to kiss her feet and then I could stop interfering and being such an obnoxious twit all of the time,” Laura says, sagely. Her hair is definitely not perfect and does not look like it belongs in a shampoo commercial. Also, her nose is not cute. In the slightest. And those shoulders, her arms, and that strong neck isn’t appealing. At all. It’s the worst. The absolute worst.

“What should we do?” Carmilla asks. She is also the worst.

“I think we need to jump into a lava pit and end our miserable lives. It’s the only thing to do.”

Frowning, Carmilla looks confused and says, “That is a great idea. But where would we find one of those?”

Laura points to the floor where a deep hole has been dug. “Ever since I realized that neither of us can compare to the wonder that is Elle, I’ve been working on a way to make it up to her. So I’ve dug this hole to center of the earth. There’s a river of lava down there. We can jump in and finally make up for our treatment of Elle.

“Alright. Let’s do it.”

Hand in hand, they jump into the pit, and burn to a crisp.

The End


End file.
